Men in Love
July 29th, 2010
Product Description
This is a book about men who love women. But it is not a collection of valentines. It is a study of the secret, erotic fantasies that men have always kept hidden, a taboo-shattering investigation which explains to women as well as to men the deepest, most conflicting feelings that men have about women, men and their own sexuality. “Men in Love” goes beyond the clich- of woman seen as either Madonna or whore to reveal the conflict of love and rage at the centre of men’s emotions. Based on thousands of candid responses from men ranging from their teens to their sixties, “Men in Love” – startling and shocking – will change men’s deepest feelings about their sexuality and make the women who care about them understand them as never before.
July 29th, 2010 at 6:37 am
Being a man, these fantasies should appeal to me more than those in Friday’s other erotic fantasy collections. And they do. But still, as a whole this book scores lower.
The reason lies in Nancy’s own comments. Where ‘My Secret Garden’ and ‘Forbidden Flowers’ look at the fantasies from the viewpoint of women’s sexual emancipation, and look at the women’s personal (sexual) histories to find the ‘reasons’ for the fantasies, ‘Men in Love’ goes into Freudianism to explain the fantasies. Not only do these explanations bore me to death, I also do not believe in them. Some of the comments are okay (for example her confession that she has problems with the SM-fantasies, and her reasons for nevertheless including them), but many I prefer to skip not only in reading, but also in re-reading and re-rereading the book.
Still, even with this flaw this book gets 4 stars. Because, like the three books with women’s fantasies, the book is highly titillating, erotic, even pornographic, but without becoming gross. If one wants literature to get one ‘in the mood’ sexually, Friday’s books are the ones to go on. Unlike pornography, it does not tell stories – it’s more descriptions of stories. And your own fantasy can then do the rest. Thus reading this book (or one of the others, ‘My Seret Garden’, ‘Forbidden Flowers’ or ‘Women on Top’) will enrich your sexual fantasy world rather than supplanting it.
Rating: 4 / 5
July 29th, 2010 at 7:49 am
I am a personal growth coach who sometimes works in the area of sexuality. Typically, the clients that come to me with shame about their fantasies are women and often I recommend some of Nancy Friday’s books about women’s fantasies. This book is different because it focuses on men’s fantasies and as such, it is a useful lens for women into male sexuality and the different shapes it can take.
The content of this book is more graphic than Nancy Friday’s other books. Some of the fantasies are extremely graphic and some might say rather unusual. In other words, you are going to read about some unusual practices and kinks. On the other hand, it captures the nature of the male’s fascination for highly visual, genitally stimulating and sometimes extreme sexual practices. I thought I heard it all before, but there were some shockers in here for me!
If you are looking for erotica written by males, this is a good place to start. What I like most about the book is the psychological interpretations of various men’s fantasies. While I don’t necessarily agree with Nancy Friday’s line of thought some of the time, her interpretations are creative and in most cases plausible. Her narrative is certainly thought provoking and I like the fact she brought sexual fantasy out of the realm of shame and guilt.
A great book that explains the psychology of sexual fantasy is YOUR EROTIC MIND by Jack Morin. You may find this a very useful read if you are trying to understand your own or other people’s fantasies in an in-depth way. Also, a good general book on our sexual proclivities based on evolutionary biology is THE EVOLUTION OF DESIRE by David Buss.
Rating: 4 / 5
July 29th, 2010 at 10:23 am
I have owned this book for years, and I still read parts of it on occasion. “My Secret Garden” and “Forbidden Flowers” made me rethink the way I look at women’s sexual fantasies, and “Men in Love” made me rethink all I knew about men. I love this book because it reveals men’s deepest desires without holding anything back. It’s definitely not a book for everyone, though, and there are some parts that are disturbing. But then again, all of us have parts of ourselves we are embarrassed of, and the only way to move forward is by acknowledging these parts of ourselves and finding ways to deal.
Another reason this book is fabulous is because of the way the chapters are broken down by subject. So you just pick a topic that seems interesting and go right to that chapter. (Hmmm…I feel like reading about bisexuals tonight) It’s instant gratification.
I’ve been a huge Nancy Friday fan for years, and this is my favorite book by her, although “Forbidden Flowers” is a close second. It helps remind you love is complicated and can be expressed in some unusual ways.
And I also like the parts where Friday discusses the fantasies. I think it’s intersting even if I don’t always agree with her. She has some very Freudian interpretations of the fantasies, but without all of the sexism characteristic of Freud.
An awesome and important book. Even if you find it disgusting or disagree with Friday, you’ll definitely learn something new about men.
Rating: 5 / 5
July 29th, 2010 at 10:47 am
As a woman whom has read this authors works on women’s fantasies I picked this book up. This book does reveal the difference between men and women’s fantasies. I highly recommend this book and it will leave you fulfilled, maybe a little shocked, but truly content. This is a wonderful transom to the sexual thoughts and fantasies of men. If you ever thought you, or someone you know had fantasies that are unlike anyone else’s, get a copy of this book. You will find some chapters to describe some things you never thought of, and then again you will find some chapters to describe you completely. This isn’t a real easy read, but it truly is a read that will open your mind!
Rating: 5 / 5
July 29th, 2010 at 11:06 am
This book is practically a lifetime of information on the opposite sex. I’ve learning so much from it that I look at people in a different way now. After reading this book, you will begin to wonder what people are really like in their privacy of their home and mind.
I wouldn’t say that this book is for everyone. Like many of these reviews say, there are some very disturbing fantasies, some may say that they are subhuman and degrading. But they’re really not that hideous if you read them with an open mind. You will be speechless when you read some of the stories. You’ll be surprised on what is actually going on in the minds of the men in the world. But it’s all so interesting..
Another thing about this book is that Nancy Friday does comment throughout it. Everything, especially in the beginning, that she says has something to do with Freud. I do not agree with Freud theories so I mostly skipped some of her comments, though she does make some significant points at times.
It’s an educational book. You will learn a lot and that knowledge may benefit you in the future. “We’re more alike than different.” Absolutely.
Rating: 5 / 5